I’ve got this problem… and it’s seriously driving me nuts!
No matter how hard I try to shake it off or avoid it, it’s like it’s glued to me.
Do you know what I mean?
In my case, it’s conflicts at work. Problems with my bosses or coworkers.
Over and over again.
It’s a repeating pattern.
I wanted to avoid the arguments and run away from the conflicts, but they always caught up with me. And when I did try to resolve them, it usually backfired and made things even worse.
So, how do you constructively deal with recurring patterns?
There are 4 stages:
1. Full Acceptance by Complete Acknowledgment
2. Finding the Meaning Behind It
3. How is This Challenge Beneficial to Me?
4. How Can I Use This Situation and What I’ve Learned to Help Others?
Today, I want to focus on the first point.
Full Acceptance by Complete Acknowledgment.
What does that mean?
In 99% of cases, we find that this annoying situation, this problem, or this irritating person is just stupid and we wish it would all just go away. (This includes physical ailments that are trying to tell us something, by the way. ☝️)
We’re internally fighting it and are in total denial.
But nothing and no one has come into your life to be simply ignored or fought.
The thing is: anything you fight or suppress will do one thing—grow.
Suppressed emotions, pain, fear, conflicts…
That’s why the first step is acceptance.
So, how can I practically accept something?
We’re all pros at avoiding and suppressing things.
Now, let’s actually pay attention to the issue.
This simple exercise I’m giving you can work wonders. ☝️
Pick a conflict, grab a notebook, something to write with, and take some time to ask yourself:
What thoughts are actually going through my head when I’m dealing with this person, when this is happening, before it all starts? (Whatever describes your situation.)
Often, we’re just reacting impulsively without ever really examining our thoughts.
Write down your thoughts. Just doing that alone can release a lot of energy. Don’t underestimate this step!
Then ask yourself:
Are these thoughts helpful or useful to me?
Mark them red for “not useful” and green for “useful.”
Now, tune into each sentence and see how each one feels.
Where in your body do you feel this? How does it feel?
Good or bad?
What do I want to think instead?
How would I rather feel?
How would I like to react?
When you give your conflict this kind of attention, you start to accept it. And that’s the first step toward successfully overcoming a challenge.
Next time, we’ll move on to point 2:
Finding the Meaning Behind It.
It’ll work out for sure!