When do I have a lot of value?
And when little?
What do I have to achieve to feel valuable?
Am I worth less when others put me down?
Or only when I do it myself?
And when can I be more valuable?
Is that even possible?
Is the person opposite me perhaps more valuable?
Here, I want to pause and make a fundamental difference clear.
Self-worth and self-esteem.
There’s a colossal difference between these two terms.
Our self-esteem is often a very fleeting affair.
Firstly, we might already have a generally strong or weak self-esteem due to our overall constitution.
And then sometimes just one silly comment, hair that won’t cooperate today, hormones, or something else, and our self-esteem plummets to the basement.
Our self-worth, on the other hand, is something entirely different.
It is immutable. Not affected by external or internal circumstances.
We possess it from the moment of our creation until the moment we die. And from the beginning, it’s at 100% and never changes.
No matter how much we achieve – we are 100% valuable.
No matter how much we own, what we look like, where we live, what our background is, whether we are married or single, whether we are skilled or rather clumsy, how people treat or speak to us, it’s even irrelevant what we think of ourselves.
I can spend all day thinking poorly of myself and putting myself down. And at work, I am bullied, and my boyfriend has left me.
Still, my self-worth remains at 100%.
What might change is my self-esteem.
However, measuring one’s worth by that is like sailing after a cloud. It can quickly dissolve or change direction, leaving one without clear orientation. A star (your self-worth), on the other hand, offers a constant.
“So then, it doesn’t matter what I make of my life, whether I groom and take care of myself, whether I work or not, whether I’m kind to others or do anything at all.” – some might think.
This way of thinking is deceptive because one must still bear the consequences of their actions and decisions – value aside 😉
Being good and kind, whether to others or oneself, is therefore worthwhile in any case.
So, to summarize:
No matter what has happened to you in the past or today, you are valuable. That doesn’t change because of anything or anyone. Not even by your own, perhaps judgmental or doubting thoughts.
Focus on your self-worth instead of your self-esteem, as that is deceptive.
Fortunately, you can improve your self-esteem!
Not just through constructive and uplifting thoughts but also with very concrete techniques.
One of them is EFT with the 12 Polarity Resolution Statements.
This technique helps you generally accept yourself more and embrace yourself as you are.
It significantly strengthens your self-esteem and brings inner peace.
If you want to learn this and apply it for yourself, then contact me.
