Today, I want to introduce you to one of my favorite exercises.
It helps you to get less upset in life and to develop a lot of understanding for others.
This approach lets you connect with others with more empathy, and as a bonus, it makes you more likable.
This exercise has now become part of my daily thinking. People often ask me how I can always be in such a good mood and always so positive. This is a big part of it.
So today, I am revealing one of my secrets to you on how to become more relaxed and simultaneously more attractive.
The fact is that we can’t avoid to encounter people whom we find either weird or silly or who do things that are simply not nice.
For example, in a social gathering, your friend’s new boyfriend says something that you just can’t comprehend. How can he say something like that?!
Or someone boldly cuts in line at the supermarket checkout.
These kinds of experiences can really put a damper on your mood.
Usually, we get upset, are flabbergasted, shocked, hurt, or might even confront the situation.
What if there was a way to deal with this that makes you smile and maybe even puts you in a good mood?
I call the exercise “Finding Excuses” and not for yourself (because that’s how we usually use excuses), but for this other person.
There are two approaches to this:
The amusing: – the stories we make up for the person are as funny and far-fetched as possible.
Or the especially loving: – the “excuse” we think up is particularly forgiving and indulgent.
In both cases, it’s important: Our made-up stories absolutely do not need to be true. That’s completely secondary.
Maybe the guy who jumped the queue at checkout just had some seriously urgent gas issues and was in a rush to pay so he could dash outside for some much-needed air-clearing relief!
Your friend’s boyfriend might have grown up in a completely different environment. There, people probably just addressed things and even if they were expressed roughly, it didn’t hurt anyone. He probably just wasn’t aware that his statement could be misunderstood.
In a way, it’s sweet that he’s so guileless.
The only important thing in this exercise is: Our excuses should never be condescending like: “Well, he’s just dumb, and he can’t help it.”
We always stay on an equal footing.
The more you think this way, the more you increase the ease in your life. You’re essentially stretching and expanding your ability to see people in a good light.
Shoot me a message with any funny stories you come up with! I’d love to read them!
You’ve got this!