Control: Is Fear the True Driving Force?

Checking to see if your kids have brushed their teeth at night or if you’ve plugged in your phone is obviously okay.

But what if this need to have everything under control becomes a constant companion?

  • The food has to be cooked THIS way and ONLY THIS way.
  • Every outing feels like a moon landing because everything needs to be meticulously planned.
  • And since others always seem to miss the mark or simply get things wrong, you prefer to take matters into your own hands.
  • Then it feels like you’re constantly running after everyone to make sure everything goes right.

Do you recognize yourself in this?

Of course, sometimes life can be chaotic, and control provides a sense of security.

But here’s the catch:

Control is the response to FEAR.

The fear of missing out, of perhaps not always meeting your own standards or worrying about what others might think of you.

These control mechanisms often act as a protective shield. They help you maintain stability and confidence in your life.

That’s actually quite clever. And up to a certain point, it works wonderfully.

Yet, with these protective strategies, there’s a downside: they flip at some point.

And then they begin to harm you and those around you rather than help.

Signs of this might include:

  • Constant feelings of pressure or stress.
  • Arguments with your loved ones.
  • Frustration and dissatisfaction with yourself and the entire world.

If you’re now thinking, “Darn, that’s really me,” and you wish for a different approach, let me reassure you.

With a bit of reTHINKING, you can achieve a lot. 🙂

I’ll write a separate email about that, or this will get too long.

And in the meantime, consider one word: Trust.

What does trust mean to you?

What would the world look like if you trusted more?

By the way, a little tip for you if you have such a person in your life:

Yes, it can be challenging and yes, perhaps even unfair.

But trust me: if the person could easily shed this behavior, they would.

So try to be understanding.

It’ll make life easier for both of you 😉

More on this topic in the next post.

You’ve got this!

You can book me for a free mini session or learn more through my Pocket Coach newsletter